Unrealistic

Oh the things we forge and create when we want to be held and rescued like children cradled in their mother's arms after a night of terror 

I hold on tighter than one usually would, craving the longing of not feeling things as deeply as one should

I have the need to know everything, to understand the echoes of laughter in ones chest, to understand the old wounds scattered about like cracks in the ceiling 

I have the desire that you want to know everything about me as I do with you, a dream in which I prayed that you were as curious as I was

I want to indulge, I was made to indulge

not to be perceived as a mannequin only ever being dressed and gazed upon set up for sale. 

I crave the company placed in the center of my palm, and I will consume it until it bleeds back out of my clenched jaws

A choking and rotting smile of hope in the creases of my face

I imagine myself as a smaller, weaker version draped in gowns I've left behind 

Holes now stretched wider by moths searching for the moonlight on the sea

I let the sun into the gaping cloth and the burns refuse to ease

I wear the empty space as a testament to my time 

All I do is wait and take up the space until I am cleaned and freed, 

Just capture and hug me

I know you and I knew you before

I am the youngest I will ever be the feeling of the whole world on my shoulders is so heavily present please help me carry it