Written by a Certified Introvert
People!
Conversations! AWKWARD SMALL TALK! Sound the alarms and batten down the hatches
because it’s time to face every introvert’s worst fear; social situations.
Throughout
elementary school, middle school, and my freshman year of high school I was always
pegged as “shy “or “quiet” girl. Looking back, those labels were very well
deserved. While I had a lot of friends, I found it very difficult to talk to
new people without freezing up. But, with a lot of work, “how-to” videos, and
failed conversations, I’ve managed to make the thought of talking to someone
seem a lot less daunting. Don’t get me wrong, I still kick myself when the
waiter says “enjoy your meal” and I reply with “you too”, but with every awkward
experience I earn a little confidence that allows me to be filled with
significantly less fear every time an unexpected conversation strikes.
The most common
reason introverts tend to have problems speaking is the fault of an over-active
imagination. We spend the entirety of a conversation trying to figure out all
the things that can go wrong and our brains overload. This causes most people
(including me) to freeze in a panic. For example, I just recently learned how
to answer the question “How are you?” without having a mini essential crisis.
The next time you have to talk to a stranger, try to think of all the things
that can go right instead. You might walk away from this
conversation with a new friend or a resolved conflict, but you’ll never know if
you only pay attention to what could go wrong.
If the thought of initiating
a conversation makes you want to crawl into a hole and cry, don’t fret, because
you can still learn to be friendly. Even if you don’t want to talk, let others
know that you appreciate them. When in doubt, smile! A nice smile and a
friendly demeanor can save you in almost any situation.
Introverts tend to
have a certain set of skills that make us excellent socializers. For example,
most introverts are great listeners. Use this to your advantage. Ask
thought-provoking questions in order to avoid awkward silence. Also, don’t be
intimidated by extroverts! When it comes to communication, opposites attract,
so put your listening skills to the test and let your new extroverted friend do
all the talking.
If you really want
to alleviate your fears, think about the real reason that you don’t want to
talk to strangers. Are you worried about what they think of you? Don’t let that
be a reason, because it will only hold you from your true potential. When
speaking to new people it doesn’t matter if your socks don’t match or if your
voice is shaky; as long as you’re confident, your personality will shine
though.
Even though it is
important to be able to communicate with people, never be ashamed of being an
introvert. Believe it or not, it is possible to be a sociable introvert. Be
true to yourself, and the words will come easily. With time, you might even
find that you enjoy speaking to people and conversations will start to seem
less like an obstacle and more like a fun hobby.
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